Turkey, family, and really dumb questions

12/1/09 7:35 PM

I have many pet peeves. I find it positively revolting when children insist upon putting unwanted little bogies into their mouths. It never ceases to amaze me when grown men and women eat with their gobs wide open, allowing any and every individual the priceless chance to watch solid food transform into an unidentifiable lump. I've also never particularly trusted people who don't like chocolate. It's not natural. But beyond all those very irritating habits of members of the human race, I hate one thing even more. Every Thanksgiving, without fail, someone just has to ask me the age-old, annual inquiry: what are you thankful for? Here's a better question. Is it possible to be any more cliché? Here's another one. Can...