What women mean to say ...

There are a few unspoken rules to marriage. For guys that haven’t figured it out at this stage this post may be a lost cause, but there is one secret every guy should know before heading into a relationship and a marriage is doomed if you haven’t figured out by the time you propose. I am here to share that secret – women have a secret language. Some call it code, I call it logic, but whatever works for you.

While generally my husband speaks woman fluently, he recently had a major slip up and I am here to help all other men understand this one single phrase that can bring life or death to a relationship. When a woman says, “Whatever makes you happy, dear,” she is leaving out part of what she means. The true thought is: “Whatever makes you happy as long as you realize that your happiness is dependent on whether or not I am happy about it.” Now it becomes obvious this isn’t just an omission of the truth ... consider it an abbreviation.

Recently, as I struggled to read LA401 papers, prepare for a chemistry test, write two other papers and create a presentation for another class, I mentioned the idea that I should be a stay-at-home wife. This is sarcasm and if you can’t understand that, forget learning the code. Anyway, a few days later Sam came to me with the idea of joining the Air Force. For me, the idea isn’t really a problem. We could use a cut down on jobs and it is a great opportunity for us to travel and see some great things. My grandpa was in the Air Force and has some of the greatest stories ever. Sure he uses this history for evil by telling us grandchildren that he was shot in the war when really my dad shot him during a hunting trip ... supposedly on accident. I truly do support my husband so I said, “If that will make you happy we can find out more. I just want you to be happy.”

-This is where we have differing ideas.-

When my husband mentioned a career that involves packing our lives and moving to some other place, I pictured coastlines and foreign lands since you get to choose at least your top five places you want to live. Where does Sam want to put down on his top-five list? Wichita. Yeah, it is close to family but you get a 30-day vacation in the Air Force…we’ll visit.

So while, yes, I did say, “I just want you to be happy,” I meant “I just want you to be happy but if you are going to make me pack up my life we are going someplace warm where I can lay on the beach since you are expecting me to be some sort of stay-at-home, do-nothing kind of a wife.” See? I was just abbreviating.