he words “I do” commonly come out of Baker University students’ mouths not long after they are out of school, but some students believe marriage should not even be considered at this particular stage in college students’ lives.
“A lot of my friends have said, ‘People just come to Baker to get married,'” senior Ryan Boyer said.
Even though this is often said as a joke, Boyer said there is some truth to it. He, however, does not feel a need to rush into marriage.
“I really don’t think you should think of marriage until you’re 27,” Boyer said. “I think marrying is just really weird in college. … If you get married, that’s a grown-up thing. It’s not some sort of game.”
Boyer said he does not even want to date in college.
“I don’t relatively go on dates or start relationships because I don’t feel college is the place for that,” he said. “I think you should just have fun.”
Junior Jessica Uhler said she thinks being single is the best way to go in college.
“As I’ve been single the whole time I’ve been in college, I think college is about meeting new people,” she said. “It’s kind of hard to do that when you’re hooked with someone.”
Recently engaged senior Casey Carter said college should be an exploration time.
“All throughout college it’s about meeting people and finding who you could potentially see yourself with in the future,” Carter said. “I’m a firm believer in meeting all different types of people and picking the different personalities you get along with and not.”
She also said she thinks students are able to relax once they have found the significant others they want to be with for the rest of their lives.
“When you come to college and meet the person, it’s easier to settle down because you’re closer to the future,” Carter said.
Carter has met “the person,” but the two have decided not to hurry their marriage. They are planning on getting married in May 2008. She said they are waiting until she and her fiancé are both out of college because it would be harder to be involved in activities around campus if they were married.
“I think sometimes people plan a wedding and have to rush to get ready for it,” she said. “We wanted to enjoy our engagement and not rush it.”
Freshman Nikki Anderson is still dating her high school sweetheart and said their relationship is strong, even though they have had to adjust their relationship a bit.
“It just changed in the fact that we had to try harder to talk to each other and see each other because we live farther away from each other,” Anderson said.
She said now that she is not with her boyfriend as much, the time the two spend with each other is not wasted.
“We cherish the time we have together more because we don’t see each other as much,” Anderson said.
Though Anderson and her boyfriend are still together, she said her thoughts about relationships have changed since she came to college.
“In high school, it’s just fun,” she said. “When you’re in college, you start thinking, ‘Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?'”
Counseling Center Director Kelly Bowers said the center offers help concerning relationships, either through individual therapy or couples therapy.
“We work with all the different relationships and try to work through problems using healthy communication styles and problem solving,” Bowers said.
She said the main goal is to help strengthen relationships. She said therapy depends on the individual or couple, but could include behavioral activities, journaling activities or bibliotherapy, which is assigned book reading.
Bowers said every type of relationship is welcome to use the services the counseling center offers.
“I feel every relationship is important, so we work with both gay and straight relationships,” Bowers said.
She said some students are hesitant to come in because they think their issues are not important enough.
“I think sometimes students are shy to talk about their relationships because they’re unsure whether other students are experiencing the same things,” Bowers said. “… Everyone struggles. There’s no relationship without issues.”