I have to apologize to you. I’m sorry. I lied.
When you casually asked me last week, “Hey, how are you?” or “How’s it going?” I wasn’t completely honest. “Good,” I replied, or maybe, “Oh, not too bad.”
Don’t take it personally, I wasn’t trying to deceive you, I was just trying to convince myself.
It really wasn’t a good week. In fact, it was a bad one.
Maybe I was just being a slave to etiquette rules. When you greet someone with a polite question, you really aren’t prepared for someone to fire back an answer like, “Really bad actually, thanks for asking.”
You’re not looking for a recap of the events of my life; a simple “Good, thanks” will suffice. And that’s what I gave you, because I’ve never been one to share my problems with people.
I guess I take a certain amount of pride in keeping up appearances. I don’t really want everyone to catch on when I’m stressed out of my mind, or when I have relationship issues. I just want to keep it to myself.
But, fortunately I’ve learned a lot about how to change this since moving to college, and it’s definitely for the better.
I’ve made friends here. It helps to make friends. I’m talking about the honest-to-goodness true friends who stick by you. The “life-long friendships” that Baker is so reputed to kindle have surely come my way.
These friends have taught me wonders. It’s always been hard for me to open up to people and talk about issues in my life.
It’s because of these friends that I can now value true communication. Up until a few months ago, I seriously underestimated the power of talking things through with someone.
The stresses of schoolwork, the trials of relationships or the everyday annoyances can just build up. It helps to get them off your chest and understand that you’re not in it alone.
And it’s these true friends who have helped me realize I can share my feelings and get genuine sympathy and understanding when I really need it. I take comfort in the fact that there are a few understanding pals ready to hear me out.
Please don’t think I’m some sort of phony keeping my problems bottled up for the sake of my image, just waiting to vent to my best friend in our next pseudo therapy session. I enjoy our informal chats.
I’m just glad I’ve found a place where I can really talk and be understood.
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